Kindle: 240 pages
Date Published: 2009
Point: The Song of Songs gives good advice for love inside and outside the bedroom.
Path: The author deals with ignorance and selfishness in marriage through humor and imaginary therapy sessions.
Sources: 25 years of marriage and professional psychology.
Agreement: The Song of Songs is valuable when it comes to understanding love.
Disagreement: One question I have for the author, “Who is to blame if someone picks up this book and obeys it exactly, but sees no difference in their marriage? And what should they do?” The reason I ask is because this book is primarily behavior modification. If what you are teaching is correct, than the answer would be 1. the reading spouse - because they didn’t do it properly, and they need to try harder. 2. the non-reading spouse - they are a dud and the reading spouse needs to find someone who will fulfill their needs.
The gospel is relegated to a final appendix where it is included in the plan of salvation.
The author states “We must forgive others, and the only way to do that is first to tell them directly the pain they have caused us” (p 174). He then suggests that the hurting spouse unload everything that the other spouse has ever done that has hurt them. He is intent on fulfilling the “needs” of the other spouse. While it is important to love the other as commanded by Christ, a married individual whose spouse refuses to do so can still lead a God honoring life. Even if his/her “needs” are not filled they can still be complete because Christ is sufficient.
Personal App: I cringe at the psychological dangers being proposed in this book.
Stars: 1 out of 5
It would not be worth another read and I would not recommend it.